Brave Confessions From an Older Woman
I am an older woman. I am an older woman. I am an older woman. I guess if I try to say it enough times it might stick. I had an interesting ah-ha moment recently. Someone had seen a picture of me in an intense pose and commented that they hoped that they looked like me when they are older. When I first read the comment I remember thinking, “What older woman?” “Who are they looking at?” Well, ME! I was the older woman. Yet it can’t be me. I feel the same as I did at 29 years of age. I missed the entire beautiful compliment from that person because of the sting of the label. But the fact is that I am an older woman.
I remember my parents at my age and thinking they are so old. And when I get very real and look deep into the mirror I can do nothing but realize that the outside is older than the inside. The face I see has lines and sags and age creeping in on it. Don’t get me wrong. I work hard to turn back the hands of time through nutrition and exercise, but the fact still remains I am aging.
In the society in which we live it is almost criminal to get old. With all the injections, surgeries, pills and powders, we are taught to fight aging as if it was a matter of life and death. We are taught that beauty is wrinkle-less, no expression, puffed up faces that have no movement or character. We are taught to do whatever it takes at all costs to look young. Now I’m not entirely against these things. I have tried some of them and researched others and ultimately I believe a woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body and face without any judgment, shame or guilt. But the examples I see before me are tortured woman that have become manic in the race against time. They have become obsessive about staying young to the point of looking plastic and feeling value less because of chronology.
I refuse to become that. I love a face that moves. I love a face that laughs and crinkles and turns up or down. I also love when I see an older woman that is aging gracefully walk into a room and light it up because of her smile, posture, grace and inner light. Yes, there are days when I peer into my face and struggle with the changes that are taking place, but I have to let go and surrender to the way things are supposed to be. The natural progression of life and the natural changes in the body. I have to surrender to other things changing as well. This is not giving in but instead accepting the fact that there are some things that no matter what are inevitable. Having an inner peace and love for yourself is true beauty to me. I hope that I can continue to embrace these.
– Kim Salisbury –